Monday, August 3, 2009

Long time, no blog.

Well, you know it's been too long when your husband says "you know it's been almost a month since you've blogged?" Um, yeah. Sorry about that. First we had a garage sale, then I was gone for 2 weeks, and then it was really hot and I couldn't even think about sitting in our hotbox of an office for even a minute--let alone the hours it takes me to blog! Now, I can't find my camera, with it's many fun photos that should be a part of this post. Luckily, a lot of other people took photos and so I get to steal from their libraries. As you will see, I'm hardly lacking in the photo department.

Well, I'm happy to report that I have, apparently, given birth to the devil. I may put too much stock into astrology, but after living with (and trying to raise) the notoriously stubborn Taurus (Maizey), I've decided that next time around I'm going to try to swing it so that my baby is a laid-back Libra. Yes, my sweet, fun, beautiful daughter is also nuts, violent, stubborn, very opinionated, and a hell-raiser! I'm not really going to elaborate, anyone whose lived with a 15month old probably has been through something similar, but just today I was hit--a LOT, she pooped in the shower, she got into lipstick and got it all over her clothes and the floors, she managed to find an old computer monitor (a BIG 19" one) and drag it to an outlet where she proceeded to work very hard at plugging it it, she bit off several of the small rubber stoppers inside the cabinet doors, she got into the pantry and dumped out a package of spaghetti and then stomped it into a thousand little pieces, she also really got into poking me in the eye--she kept doing it over and over. It doesn't matter if I tell her "no," I mean it doesn't even phase her. How do you discipline a 1 year old for throwing her hard, plastic doll in your facing and laughing about it? There isn't really a way. That time, I took her doll away from her, which made her have a major meltdown, but most times there isn't a way to make her understand that I'm mad at her. Am I raising a psychopath? If you ever met my CRAZY, hyper dog Porter, then you know that maybe discipline isn't really my thing. Oh jesus, we're in trouble. If working full time was an option right now, then I definitely would, I'd let someone else raise Maizey, I figure they can't be doing any worse than I am!!!

I know you're thinking "well, where were you when all this debauchery was taking place?" The answer is that I was very nearby. I would leave the room for maybe 1 second to try to accomplish various tasks (like putting laundry away, putting dishes away, going to the bathroom, etc.). During the lipstick incident, I merely had my back to her, I turned around about every 30 seconds, but that's just long enough for her to get tricky!

Okay, all that said. My girl is hysterical, and adorable, and getting more fun every day (for every bit more fun she gets, she becomes equally as difficult). She loves to kiss, and comes is and then kisses and goes "mwah" and pulls her head away really fast--it's the cutest thing ever. She also has started singing, and her dancing gets more and more intense every day--it's SO funny! She is learning to ham it up and please people by just being plain cute and pulling out her uber-hammy smile--it's gets me every time! So, yes, this is really hard--by far the hardest thing I've ever done, but it seems to find a way to balance itself out (thank god), but there are some days, like today, where I am pretty sure I'm going to put her up for adoption!

This is her cheesy smile, when she's hamming it up for the camera. The funniest thing I've ever seen! Where do they learn this stuff?Here is the beginning of the spaghetti catastrophe today.
What else can I tell you? Well, like I said, I was gone for 2 weeks. I went up to my parent's place on Hood Canal. I had a fabulous time--especially since they recently added central AC and we happened to have some of the hottest days on record while I was there. If it's gonna be 100deg outside, it's nice to be at a place on the water with AC. Luckily Maize was with me for that part of the trip, so she didn't have too much trouble with the heat. I know how hard it is to have a baby in that heat and have no AC--yuck! My sister and her girlfriends were there for the first week, and then I was with my mom on the 2nd week. Maizey was with me at the beginning and ending of the trip, but for 3 nights in between my mom had Maizey and I got to be Miss Independent and let loose--and I really did. We had so much fun, and I got a pretty good tan, with a little bit of heat stroke on the side.
I'm sure there's more to say, but I've already said a lot, probably more than you wanted to read, so I'll just let the pictures do the rest of the talking. I'm not going to put them in order because that would take all night. Brace yourself, we have a lot of catching up to do!
Maizey at QdobaLooking very rock and roll in her new pants and hat from auntie!
We caved and turned her seat around, she would throw tantrums constantly when she was rear-facing, this was the lesser of 2 evils. She got her way--she's diabolical and I'm a sucker, it was bound to happen sooner or later...
She was the best salesman at our garage sale! She helped us make $500! Which we quickly spent on new things for her!
Erica and Meghan at the cabin, being "entertained??" by our awesome dance moves!
Amy sure can rock a boot...
The mamas on the dance floor, and, yes, I am doing the running man.
This was our favorite thing to do, well, my favorite thing to do. I'm pretty sure she found floating to be really boring.
Looking for little crabs on the beach. Just like I did when I was a kid! I think they call that "full circle," my friends.
Heaven on Earth.
No, that's grape juice in our hands, it always makes us silly!
Okay, so this deserves some story telling. After drinking a lot of, er, grape juice. I decided I wanted to swim out to the pilings, climb up, and dive off. I convinced Colleen to come with me, she is, after all, nearly an Olympic swimmer and I thought it would be good for someone to be there to rescue me should things not go my way. Also, if there were some large predator in the water I thought having someone who was lean and muscular (aka tasty) with me may improve my chances for survival. Then, to my delight, Erika, Erica, and Maureen decided to come with us. So, we made it out there and Maureen and Colleen (the athletes) climbed right up onto the pilings, while I struggled to pull my body weight out of the water and climb the 2 feet up the piling--jr. high flashback of the fitness test and the pull ups. I forfeited the pull-ups and they had to time my hang instead. Upper body strength has never been my "thing." Anyway, as I'm struggling to get my fat ass up the piling, I notice that we have an audience. I mean a BIG audience. Every house I could see had people sitting on their decks watching the show. People were even taking photos. Instantly I regretted not wearing my Keens, I regretted that I was doing this drunk (making my already out of shape body look even less coordinated and able), I regretted that I chose the *by far* wobbliest piling, and I regretted my decision to lay out in the sun wearing shorts and the subsequent farmer's tan that followed. But, I made it up and we had applause coming from everywhere. I was so proud. Too bad I felt the need to yell to everyone that I accomplished this "drunk!!!!!!!!!!" And, sound carries on water. I'm pretty sure that people on the other side of the canal could hear my proclamation. Then, we posed for some pictures, dove off, and swam back. It's the stuff of legends.

Here I am struggling to get out of the water!
Here we are celebrating our accomplishment. I'm yelling to everyone that I am drunk, without shoes, and on the wobbliest piling of all! Notice my shorts tan? That's hot!
We didn't plan this, but we were twins, right down to the Keens!
Hopefully this will be her last time on top of a bar! Ugh, too cute!
Bethie and Harper--canal girls!
Another gorgeous canal girl, representin' Tahuya!
A random photo, from my family bday party. My gift from my bro and his wife, can't wait to take it out for it's maiden voyage! We are just having trouble finding a helmet little enough for miss Maize!
Georgia's 30th B-day! Wow, we're all getting a little old, but still lookin' good!

Maizey on her way to Geogia's party. Love this dress!
At Harper's 1st birthday. Lucky Harper has her own bouncy house!!
Maizey ready for a boat ride!
Maizey in the morning and all her treasures!
Having fun in the pool with grammy! Sometimes the cold water of the canal isn't her favorite thing, so this is a good option.
Watermelon and nude, a good way to stay cool!
Tired and ready for bed after a long day of swimming.
Giving the flowers kisses.
Chocolate chip cookie+100 degrees= messy, sweaty child

Best sunsets in the world. I kept telling everyone that those are the mountains where the Cullens hunt. I would sit out there watching the sunset and think of Edward, good vampire that he is, hunting elk in those mountains.Enjoying a Nilla wafer after a long day of swimming and play. Isn't she the cutest thing ever?


Erika said...

She is the cutest thing ever. I love that she is such a spitfire - it makes her a Gebow!!! Drama, drama, drama - lovely!

I, of course, don't have to go home with her...

Mo said...

I love it! I'm glad you posted Lana- it had been too long. If you find a way to tame Maizey, let me know, because I have a feeling Emilie is going to be just as much trouble. I was just thinking about discipline on the way to work this morning- I thought the past year was a lot of work, but there is always a tougher part of parenting just around the corner.

Georgia said...

yes, she is the cutest thing ever! I'm so happy you finally posted! Looks like you've been having fun! I can't wait to see her...and you!

The LePiane's said...

I have a million comments for this post...but it can all be summed up by saying that reading it was a wonderful way to start my Tuesday! So funny and entertaining. You never cease to make me feel so normal by being so satirical and honest. Love You!

P.S. My embedded word for this comment was "mushner"...which was the icing on the cake for this whole blog reading/commenting experience.

Jessica Zevely said...

The answer to your question is YES! She IS the cutest thing ever. I wish you would go back to work full time and hire me to be your nanny. I would be so happy! She's the cutest little peanut I've ever seen!

Barb said...

ditto,ditto,ditto......what fun reading this blog and I have misssed it too. I miss little miss sunshine;) See you soon. Mom

Beth Zarling said...

Thank god you posted. I needed an update, although I knew/lived some of that. Maizey's antics had me laughing. God, I hope that isn't where Harper is heading....

Queenneenee said...

even though she is a "hellion" ENJOY her, just like you are. She will be 13 before you know it. I love the choc chip cookie shot. I love them all. She is precious!

BTW my word verification was "meshi" Just like Maizey was after that cookie! lol

hollyis48 said...

Lana-You need to become a writer and I am sure you have heard it before but you have a lot of talent and are very funny. Maizey is so full of personality. I am so jealous of the "cabin" at the canal. It looks so fun!

Ashley Bruggeman said...

Good to hear from you again--and yes, she IS the cutest thing ever...

Blyth Family Blog said...

She is so beautiful! I love your blog, it cracks me up!